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Spring Fever

4/14/2015

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It is finally spring in Canada. While February may have been the second hottest on record, no signs of global warming seemed evident in Toronto through February. It was possibly the coldest on record here. But it has thawed out and things should start turning green soon in most places.

Still, spring has not sprung nor has true love blossomed between the leader of the Federal Homophobe Fundamentalist Party and the Right Honourable leader of the Provincial Lesbian Party in one province. Even after the historic ‘cap and trade’ environmental deal with Quebec the Primate Minister has persistently refused to come to tea and remains staunchly conservative in his appointments.

Among those, the front-page ‘bloated-pigs-at-the-trough’ senate trials begin to produce methane and other barnyard greenhouse gases. The further audit of senate expenses promises to produce significant quantities of bovine fertilizer too that will be spread by the media across the country in the growing season ahead. Under the current regime, the Federal Ministry of the Environment is usually only considered as a place where new ministers learn how to keep their mouths shut, get fatter, avoid the media and toe the party line, with the promise of a plum job after completing the appropriate service and learning the proper behaviour there. Stifling the unpleasant noises made by scientists and eco-activists often results in a chain of promotions. Just look at the record. Even a senate appointment might not be out of the question; there should be multiple vacancies there soon.

On the other hand that shackled ministry of circumlocution may actually be unmuzzled briefly and just long enough to spin an  official press release lauding the generation of those aforesaid political by-products as beneficial to the whole country, reaffirming the real hypocrisy of the current government's environmental policy. It would give those little bureaucratic saplings the opportunity to learn right wing ethics and advance their careers by dismissing ‘cap and trade’ as nonsense and thus too their principles, while promoting pipelines as thoroughly eco-friendly and entirely benign.

For my part, I will once again grow flowers on my balcony, in part because I enjoy gardening, the weather and the view and in part to be green and help clean the air. The scents also help alleviate the stench of the ruling oligarchy’s  malodorous  anti-environmental policies when the wind blows in from  Ottawa's direction.
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